This is your fault
by naomi-the-space-ace
Summary: Todomatsu can't stand not knowing what they really think. So he asks his brothers and he wants the truth. "Do you really think I shouldn't exist?" [On indefinite hiatus]
1. Departure

Todomatsu gulps nervously as he stares at his older brothers before him. He wanted to know the answer to his question but he was also terrified of their response, he wasn't sure how he'd react if they gave him the answer he desperately didn't want.

"Niisans…is it… true?" He stared at them; he noticed the confused glances he got from Jyushimatsu and Osomatsu. The other three silently wanted him to further elaborate. "Do you really believe I shouldn't exist?"

He caught the surprised looks from Karamatsu and Osomatsu, Choromatsu tried not to look guilty and both Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu stayed silent. The five older brothers looked at each other, exchanging confused and slightly guilty looks on their faces. "What brought this on, Totty?" "Please…just answer the question. And give me the truth." Todomatsu clenched his fists, he willed himself not to cry, not now.

"Um…kinda?" **Osomatsu**.

"I can't give a definitive answer to that." **Karamatsu.**

"Yes? No? I—I don't know." **Choromatsu.**

"Yea." **Ichimatsu.**

"Yes?" **Jyushimatsu.**

Todomatsu froze. They all agreed? While Karamatsu and Choromatsu seemed confused on what answer they should give, they both silently agreed. Before he knew it, he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. Osomatsu, Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu immediately jumped up from their sitting position, panicking. "T-Totty! C'mon, don't cry!" He grit his teeth, he glared at his brothers through his tears. "How dare you? _HOW DARE YOU_! DON'T ACT LIKE MY BIG BROTHERS AFTER THAT!" He screamed. The tears were coming down faster. They all looked afraid. Good. They should be.

"Totty…c—calm down!" Osomatsu tried to reason with him. "It was a joke, right Choromatsu? Right?" Choromatsu looked like he wanted to vanish. He gave Osomatsu a 'don't drag me into this' look. "Y—Yeah! A joke!" Karamatsu jumped in, trying to back Osomatsu up. "A JOKE?! YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING _JOKE_?! I'VE SPENT MONTHS TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE REASON WHY CHOROMATSU-NIISAN SUDDENLY SAID I SHOULDN'T EXIST AND THEN YOU ALL FUCKING PLAYED ALONG! IT WAS EATING AWAY AT ME, I'VE BEEN CRYING, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE A BETTER BROTHER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT'S A JOKE TO YOU?!" Todomatsu screamed at the top of his lungs, he voice becoming scratchier by the second. Ichimatsu looked down right terrified. He inhaled deeply and glared deeply at the others. "Well, I got what I wanted." He stomped over to the closest and grabbed his duffle bag and began stuffing his clothes and necessities into it.

"What're you doing?" Choromatsu asked, his voice weak.

" _Leaving_."

"Hey—don't!" Karamatsu went over to grab Todomatsu by the shoulder, momentarily stopping him.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" He yelled, pushing Karamatsu off of him.

Karamatsu, Osomatsu and Choromatsu looked at him in shock. Zipping up the duffle bag, he threw the handle over his shoulder and walked out the room. Silence echoed throughout the house until the front door closed with a slam.


	2. Truth

Choking back his sobs, Todomatsu adjusted the shoulder strap to his duffle bag and pulled his smart phone from his pants pocket. His eyes still blurry from the tears, he dialed the one number that mattered right now. He put the phone to his ear and waited for the person to pick up.

 _"Hello?"_ The familiar voice sent calming waves through his body and he relaxed.

"A—Atsushi-kun?" Todomatsu called out, his voice rough from the yelling he did.

 _"Todomatsu?! Are you alright? You sound sick!"_ The concern made a small genuine smile appear on Todomatsu's face.

"I'm fine… actually, you know what? I'm not. I'm not fine at all. I—I just had a fight with my brothers. I left and I really need you right now." Todomatsu spoke rapidly, more tears falling from his eyes and sobs racking his body and he remembered the events that just took place. He tried to wipe the tears and snot off of his face the best he could with the sleeve of his pink sweater.

 _"Alright, I'm on my way to pick you up. Where are you?"_ A sigh of relief left his mouth.

"I'm just outside my house. I don't feel safe walking by myself to your home and I refuse to go back inside."

 _"Okay, it'll take a few minutes but I'll be there momentarily. Stay safe in the mean time."_ Letting his breathing even out, Todomatsu let out a long sigh.

"Alright. I'll stay where I am. See you soon. I love you."

 _"I love you too."_

After hanging up, Todomatsu leaned back against the pole that stood outside the Matsuno household.

Osomatsu, Karamatsu, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu stood in shock and silence, trying to get a grasp on the situation at hand.

"He...he didn't really mean that, right? He's not really gonna leave? He's probably gonna run back in…" Osomatsu tried to reason, helping Karamatsu up off the ground.

Karamatsu stood in silence, a shocked and pained expression frozen onto his face.

"M—Most of his clothes are gone. I think he really did mean it, Osomatsu-niisan." Choromatsu replied, his voice small.

Jyushimatsu let out a scared squeak when Osomatsu suddenly turned towards Choromatsu with the same expression when he accidentally bumped into him when they were celebrating Choromatsu getting a job.

"Don't. Don't do what I think you're going to do." Karamatsu said, his voice deep and glaring at Osomatsu. "We're all shaken and upset over Todomatsu's sudden departure but don't turn on your brothers. We don't need to repeat what happened last time one of us left."

Clenching his fists, Osomatsu looked away from his younger brothers. "I know. I don't either, but…"

Karamatsu's posture softened, his gaze full of concern for his older brother. "But? But what, Osomatsu?"

"I don't want to lose you guys again! I know we're siblings and we're bound to fight but I don't want us to drift apart and hate each other!"

Gritting his teeth, Osomatsu tried his hardest not to let the tears in his eyes fall.

Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu shared a look and nodded.

"We don't hate each other, Osomatsu-niisan!" Jyushimatsu piped in.

"Yeah, we just have problems expressing ourselves and let our emotions do the talking." Ichimatsu said.

The older three stared at the two in shock. Karamatsu looked close to crying.

"BROTHERS!" Karamatsu yelled, walking over to Jyushimatsu and Ichimatsu, trying to gather them up into a hug.

" **Don't**." Ichimatsu said, his voice laced with distain.

Choromatsu stared at Osomatsu in concern. "What should we do? Should we go talk to him or wait for things to settle down?"

Osomatsu looked at Choromatsu with discomfort. "I…I don't know. I want to apologize but we pretty much ruined any chances of him forgiving us. Maybe we should wait. We can talk this over with mom and dad."

"Wow, you're acting like a responsible older brother. It's kind of weird."

"Shut up Fappymatsu."

" _Oi_!"


	3. Punishment

Atsushi tightened his grip on the steering wheel, worry eating away at him. Todomatsu sounded so devastated and weak from over the phone; his voice was rough like he had yelled too much. When he said he had a fight with brothers, he didn't know what exactly happened.

He made a silent promise to himself to not ask questions about what happened until his boyfriend told him himself, he didn't want to pressure him into having a panic attack or anything.

Making a right turn onto a street, Atsushi could see Todomatsu sitting on the ground with his head between his legs. Slowing down, he put his car in park and walked out.

"Todomatsu?" Seeing Todomatsu look up at him with the most distraught face nearly broke his heart. He held out offering to help him up. When he grabbed Atsushi's hand and pulled him up, Todomatsu lost his balance a bit and fell into Atsushi's chest.

"S-Sorry!"

"No worries, it's alright. But we should go. From how you sounded, I think you want to get as far away from here as possible."

Atsushi smiled when Todomatsu let out a small giggle. "Alright, let's go. I can't wait to get away from here." He held open the passenger door for Todomatsu, who thanked him. Closing the passenger door, Atsushi walked over to the driver door, opened, got inside and put the car in drive, beginning their drive back to Atsushi's home.

The five older brothers stood out the window, having watched the scene played out. Choromatsu almost called out but Jyushimatsu silenced him.

"So how will we break the news to mom and dad when they get home?" Karamatsu asked.

He was greeted by silence, showing that's what they were all thinking.

Osomatsu tapped his chin, deep in thought. "We should just tell them the truth, right?" He suggested.

"Do you know how dangerous that'll be?! Mom will kill us!" Choromatsu yelled.

"You have you room to talk, Choromatsu. You're the one who caused this." Osomatsu replied venomously. The younger four gulped in fear.

"So who will be the one to tell them?" Ichimatsu asked.

"All in favor of Fappymatsu doing it say 'Aye'! Aye!" Osomatsu yelled, holding his hand up.

"Aye!" Karamatsu.

"No!" Choromatsu yelled, annoyed how everyone was ganging up on him.

"Aye." Ichimatsu.

"AYE!" Jyushimatsu.

"It's four against one, Fappymatsu! But don't worry, we'll have your back! And attend your funeral." Osomatsu laughed, rubbing his index finger under his nose.

Choromatsu let out a growl and then sighed. "Fine! I'll do it. Where are they anyway? I thought they went to the store, it's been hours since they left."

Everyone looked at each other, Karamatsu and Osomatsu just shrugged. "It's possible they lost track of time." Osomatsu offered.

Suddenly they heard the front door open and a "We're home!". Everyone turned to Choromatsu who gulped in fear.

"All right, all right, I'm going!" He snapped at the others, walking out of their shared room and downstairs.

Choromatsu stared at his mother and father, fear and anxiety overtaking his mind.

"Choromatsu? What's wrong, dear?" Matsuyo's voice snapped him out of his daze, but he was still scared.

"Mom, dad, there's a bit of a problem…" Choromatsu said, his hands twitching and sweaty.

"A problem? What is it?" Matsuzou asked, his face laced with concern for the third eldest son.

"Ah, well, um…it's about Todomatsu." Choromatsu saw the distressed looks on his parents' faces and his fear only worsened.

"Is everything alright with him? Is he hurt?" Matsuyo asked, her worry increasing.

"Physically, no…he's just, well, gone." Choromatsu confessed.

"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'?!" Matsuzou demanded, frustrated that Choromatsu wasn't getting to the point.

"Choromatsu fucked up, well technically we all fucked up and Totty ran away." The three turned and saw the other four walking towards them, Osomatsu in the front with a serious expression on his face.

"He ran away?!" Matsuyo glared at Choromatsu. "What did you do?!"

"A while ago, I accidentally let it slip that I told him he shouldn't exist and—Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Mom, that hurts!" Choromatsu rapidly explained only to be interrupted when Matsuyo started pulling on his ear.

"I'm glad it does hurt! What an awful thing to say to your brother, Choromatsu! You should be ashamed!" Matsuyo yelled, her tone full of disappointment and anger.

Matsuzou turned to the others with a frustrated expression. "What exactly did you four have in this?" He asked.

"Totty asked if we agreed with what Choromatsu said and we um, said yes?" Osomatsu admitted, an embarrassed look on his face.

"YOU DID _WHAT_?!" The brothers winced at how loud their parents yelled.

"Totty's okay though! We saw him leave with a friend!" Jyushimatsu added in.

"A friend? How do you know that, Jyushimatsu?" Karamatsu asked, he thought the man who picked Todomatsu up was just an associate of his, not a friend.

"Totty talked about him a lot when we hung out! He's the guy he took to the mixer!" Jyushimatsu said.

Matsuyo and Matsuzou let out a sigh of relief, glad to know the youngest was with someone he trusted.

"What should we do?" Choromatsu asked, concerned about everything. This made the parents snap back at him with a glare.

"We're going to have a talk later on, Choromatsu." Matsuzou said, his voice laced with anger.

"First you should all understand what you said to Todomatsu was uncalled for and extremely inappropriate. I know you've all said he can be a bit harsh sometimes but he's still your brother. There was no need to say that to him, even if you were angry." Matsuyo suggested, her expression softening.

"How long do you think he'll be gone?" Osomatsu asked, concerned etched onto his face. "Hard to say, a few days maybe? Could even be weeks or months before he decides to come back." Matsuyo said, worry slowly ebbing its way back into her body.

"WHAT?!" It was the parents turn to wince at how loud their sons were.

"We can't wait weeks or months for him to come back!" Karamatsu yelled, fear slowly starting to show on his face.

"It was his choice to leave and it's his choice if he wants to come back." Matsuzou said, his arms crossed and an exasperated look on his face.

The five brothers exchanged a look for worry and fear, it touched the parent's hearts how much they cared for the youngest.

The five turned to the parents, confident looks on their faces. "When Totty gets home, we'll show him how sorry we are and we'll treat him with care!" They exclaimed, their voices full of excitement and assurance that they would treat their little brother right.

The parents smiled at how happy their sons looked and nodded, glad to see the boys working together for a common cause.


End file.
